Digital Camera and Faceless Youtubers??
Sun, 10 Dec 23
I've been getting into "photography" a bit recently. I saw on Tumblr people would just post photos they took with their digital camera, like there's a whole tag for #digicam, which completely threw me into a nostalgia phase. It reminded me that I actually owned my own digital camera that I had been gifted for a trip I never ended up going on. I remember thinking the photo quality was absolutely rubbish, but when I got it back out again the quality is really good???? So I've been taking photos on that for a bit now. For the first week or so I was taking at least a picture everyday, and I've been bringing the camera with me everywhere I go ever since. The other day the sunset was so orange every window on every side of the house was just glowing orange, so I went outside and took some photos of the sky which turned out so pretty. The sky looked like it was on fire.
I've also tried taking selfies and outfit pictures with it which I've really enjoyed. There's something about taking photos on an actual camera that just make me feel more comfortable? I think some of it may be from my fear of my phone going through photos I take or keeping copies hidden from me even after I delete them. I have no idea how rational that fear is, and I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist or something. I suppose what I'm trying to say is having it separate from the photos I'd usually take on my phone makes it feel more private almost? Like a diary, it quite literally becomes a photo diary of things I'd otherwise not consider important enough to take pictures of. Also my phone adds skin smoothing filters to any faces it detects and I cant work out how to turn it off ??? One time I wanted to try and take a selfie on my phone while I was trying on a new dress, and something just looked off about my face?? I hadn't used a face filter in like, five years, so it made a lot of sense when I realised my face had been smoothed and that's why it looked wrong. And of course I immediately noticed all my face's imperfections and subsequently felt insecure about my looks (which as far as my face goes, was the first time in a VERY long time I'd felt that way). And ever since then, I've sworn not to use a face filter ever again... or my phone because I cant turn off the filter????
Anyway, long story short taking photos on my camera has been really enjoyable and I'm really interested in sharing some pictures I've taken, but I'm trying to work out how and where. Sharing them here on Neocities might work but I want people to be able to see them in their full glory, which would both impact on my storage, peoples internet and their ability to load my site (or otherwise involve extra work). I would've really liked to have posted them to Instagram, but since I've deleted mine and have no plans of going back that's also out of the question. My best bet is probably Tumblr? At the moment I've taken a step back from posting for a bit because I was falling into the habit of chasing the social media dopamine. I'm worried my posting photos on there will feed into that (this story would probably be the same if I used Instagram, and worse, Instagram would actually give me attention which wouldn't help).
Somewhat related to everything I just talked about: I also own an old video camera, like one where the screen flips out from the side and there's a hand strap to help hold it and all that. I've really been wanting to record some stuff on there. Even maybe some "YouTube videos" where I sit down in front of the camera and just talk like I'm talking to an audience, then whether or not they actually go up on YouTube is for future me to decide. I've always wanted to do videos for YouTube like that, but I make a point about not showing my face online just to protect my privacy and help prevent the slim chance that someone I know in real life discovers me and recognises my face. My face along with other things are stuff that I want to hold private for as long as possible, because obviously once it out there, its out there forever. I absolutely do not ever want to be considered a "faceless YouTuber". If I ever become famous (lol) and people call me a faceless YouTuber I'm going to loose it. It really irks me in a way I cant describe. Like, maybe my videos just don't need my face to be in them? Why does that turn a person into some kind of mystery that needs to be solved or studied or whatever? Or when people schedule a face reveal at a subscriber milestone, like bro, its just a face??? We all have one, whats all the hype? If I do ever show my face, I'd want to do it as early and in the most boring context possible just to get it out of the way. This paragraph was meant to be about my struggle to balance my online privacy, and limiting my digital footprint, with my want to stop being so anxious and protective over things that I would maybe enjoy sharing, but I guess this is fine too.
I've been typing this up for about an hour now and it is late so I might stop here. I hope you've enjoyed reading my 12am rant about whatever this was. Maybe I'll come back and refine this another time or something I don't know. I have not proof read any of this...
Also, ill maybe share those pictures here later but I have to actually get them off my camera first. And if I'm sharing the outfit pics I have to crop out my messy room in the background before I even think about posting them ._.